Freethought Almanac

Lighting a candle in toxic air.

Top 10 Reasons Why Donald Trump is a "Real" Christian

And Why Americans Love Him

10. Like conservative Christians, Trump seems to be afraid of nearly everything: brown people, other religions, the government, liberals, homosexuals, women breast feeding—pretty much anything or anyone that’s not a heterosexual, white conservative Christian.

9. Like conservative Christians, Trump is demeaning to women. “You know,” says Trump, “it doesn’t really matter what [the media] write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”

8. After previously making favorable statements about the right to abortion, like conservative Christians, Trump now claims to be pro-life—and, also like conservative Christians, Trump says, “Planned Parenthood should absolutely be defunded.”

7. Like conservative Christians, Trump denies human-caused climate change: “We’ll be fine with the environment. We can leave a little bit, but you can’t destroy businesses.” He has also tweeted, “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

6. Like conservative Christians, Trump thinks socialism is evil: he criticizes Vermont Senator Bernie (“Crazy Bernie”) Sanders’s democratic socialist beliefs as “a short road to failure for this country.” And, also like conservative Christians, he doesn’t know—or care—about the differences between socialism and communism.

5. Like conservative Christians, Trump would like to see schools compete: charters, vouchers, and magnets—in effect inviting unaccountable corporate control of education—and to cut the Department of Education and Common Core standards. Also like conservative Christians, Trump personifies the ignorance of facts and issues that results from a lack of education.

4. Like conservative Christians, Trump seems to have no problem chastising a poor family on food stamps or welfare—which he counterfactually calls an “outrageously mismanaged government program”—but considers anyone “un-American” who dares to call a wealthy person a greedy bastard.

3. Although he admits he knows little about guns, Trump seems to support them just as much as gun-obsessed conservative Christians. “We're going to cherish the Second Amendment,” Trump said during a campaign stop in Washington state. And Trump argued that the November 2015 massacre in Paris would have “would have played out differently with the bullets flying in the other direction.”

2. Like conservative Christians, Trump seems to be OK with torture… of foreigners, preferably swarthy ones, because "we have to beat the savages." Plus, he believes in family values at home, but that it’s OK to kill the families of terrorists abroad.

1. Like conservative Christians, Trump is racist: he suggests that Hispanic and Latino immigrants constitute a criminal class who want to rape and murder white women, and who, on the one hand, are stealing the jobs of “real” Americans, but who are also lazy moochers!

Ronald Bruce Meyer

Our Fearless Leader.

Daily Almanac

February 20: Robert Altman

Though educated in Catholic schools, and pressed to serve in Korea, “it's worth noting that by the age of 20 [Altman] had resisted two of the most powerful institutions - church and army, both. He is an atheist.”

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