Freethought Almanac

Lighting a candle in toxic air.

Pig in a Blanket – Hate Crime?

Guest Post by R J Evans, 12/28/2014
(By permission of The American Heathen blogsite)

pig_in_a_blanketNow that christmas has come and gone, and the deluded have paid homage to the birth of their mythical sky-brat, our thoughts turn to the new year a-head. Unless you’re the douchebag who thought it would be funny to steal the sky-brat from a nativity scene at the Sacred Hearts Church near Boston, MA, and replace it with a pigs head wrapped in a plastic blanket. Of course, this is a tasteless act and is magnified by theft of private property and vandalism. Putting aside the tasteless portion of the story, theft and vandalism are illegal acts punishable by law, and the douchebag who committed these crimes should be prosecuted for those crimes. But, there’s a rather serious twist to this story that’s prompted me to write about – what would otherwise be – an insignificant moment in the annals of douchebag history. Why? Because there’s more than one douchebag.

Enter Haverhill, MA police Detective Robert Pistone. Douchebag number 2. Pistone is apparently an investigator in the Pig in a Blanket douchebaggery and has decided to call in the FBI. According to Pistone, “If our investigation leads us to think this person was motivated by prejudice towards a religion, it will be treated as a hate crime.” Notice the “…motivated by prejudice towards a religion…”? I certainly did. No mention of theft or vandalism. Just “prejudice towards a religion” and “hate crime”. The real crime is ignored, snuffed out, left to suffocate under the heaping pile of dung dumped on it by douchebag number 2. Now, it’s not a long reach to assume that Pistone is a christian. It can also be assumed that the town of Haverhill, MA is predominantly christian. Add to this the fact that the crimes took place around christmas time… Hate crime? The shrill, annoying cries of persecution are ringing in my ears!

I don’t recall the last time a christian warrior – a vandal of Atheist billboards or an abortion doctor killer – faced a hate crime designation. I don’t remember the last time a Facebook keyboard warrior for christ – with a penchant for threatening muslims, Atheists, non-christians, gays, liberals, and women, with hell fire and damnation, or even death threats – faced a hate crime designation. Hmmm… Could it be that the real motivation for Pistone’s hate crime tome is nothing more than a way to elevate the real crimes of theft and vandalism to something far more beneficial to the christian persecution complex? Of course! It’s christmas time! The real crimes wouldn’t make headlines of the local news rag, let alone CNN!

Speaking of CNN and hate crimes… Neil deGrasse Tyson needs to watch his back. You can bet that someone, somewhere, is trumping up charges against him for this tweet

On this day long ago, a child was born who, by age 30, would transform the world. Happy Birthday Isaac Newton b. Dec 25, 1642

Posted on christmas day, Tyson’s tweet was retweeted more than 62,000 times. Many christians were offended of course. No mention by Tyson of their precious sky-brat. Then, to add faux insult to their perceived persecution and spurious injury, Neil tweeted…

Merry Christmas to all. A Pagan holiday (BC) becomes a Religious holiday (AD). Which then becomes a Shopping holiday (USA).

Oh! What horrors hath Satan spewed forth from the filthy fingers of the black bastion of cosmic lies!!!! HATE CRIME! HATE CRIME!! Off with Neil’s head! In the name of Jesus Christ!!!!

A crime is a crime. In every crime, there’s some motivation of hate. Theft? Yep. Someone hates the fact that you have it and they don’t. So they steal it from you. Vandalism? Yep. Someone hates you, it, them, and/or the message in this case. So, they vandalize it. In the end, hate is always the motivation for crime. Unless you really believe that old, worn out, bullshit mob line, “It’s nothing personal, just business” you’ll get it. “Hate Crime” is truly a trumped-up charge to make the bad seem far worse than it is. And it doesn’t matter from which side of the political spectrum the charge is leveled. It’s a self-serving attempt to preemptively silence the opposition, to force them to stop and pay for a bullshit mind crime, instead of paying a legitimate price for any legitimate crime they may have committed.

Speaking of crime… Let me remind you of Detective Robert Pistone’s words, in the context of this blog…

This blog is “motivated by prejudice towards a religion”.

This blog is prejudiced towards religion. How long before the cries of christian persecution turn words on a blog into a crime – turn freedom of thought and expression into a Pig in a Blanket?

Ronald Bruce Meyer

Our Fearless Leader.


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May 12: George Carlin

“You have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.”



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